To be completely honest, I am afraid of starting a blog. I strongly dislike stepping outside of my comfort zone and don’t like taking risks. In short, I tend to be very guarded and measured. A blog will leave me exposed and vulnerable. It will require me to learn so many new things, many of which are totally foreign to me now.
So, why am I doing this? Several months ago my idealized world came crashing down. As a good Christian woman dedicated to bible study and living for Jesus it blew my mind that God didn’t want me to continue what I was doing – building relationships with and offering hope to children with special needs and their families. It was a difficult job that required a lot of sacrifice with unconditional love and copious amounts of grace. And, I loved it!
But. But, I was ignoring my own health, which had mysteriously turned foul.
And. And, I overlooked the importance I had come to place on being a valued employee and staff, which had somehow become my measure of worth and success.
Then. Then God stepped in and removed my veil: I was physically ailing and spiritually broken.
Nothing could hold back the flood of God’s truth and conviction, not even the precious children that grew to trust me and whom I grew to love. I needed to resign – resign from a job that I loved – and re-surrender to the Cross. I call this step Living in Faith, or LiF (pronounced life).
With my world turned upside down and my heart broken, I leaned extra heavily on God’s word. I wish I could say I leaned just as heavily on prayer, but my heart ached so badly that I couldn’t find words. The book of Psalms became my lifeline; thankfully the Lord hears the words of my heart without me needing to speak them (Romans 8:26)! I also continued a discipline I learned over a year before, daily morning devotionals. For me this is studying God’s word and writing about deliberately applying it to my life. Further, I scoured Pinterest, a source for finding Believer blogs I’d turned to before, desperately searching for reassurance.
Somewhere in the midst of LiF, God planted the seed for me to write in order to help others in their faith journeys, much as I had sought blogs that would help me in mine. I was not excited when this seed was planted, hoping it would blow away or become overgrown with weeds and die. It didn’t. I couldn’t will it away either, the seed had grown roots. Therefore, as a part of my commitment to LiF – to listen to, pray about, and act according to the insight the Lord reveals to me – I began seeking information on starting a blog. This is when a mountain of obstacles and great insecurity about each step of the process began to bog me down. But, ever faithful, the Lord continued to remove little bits of each obstacle and unravel my confusion. So I took another step in my journey of LiF and began Being Found in Him.
I’ve memorized several verses to guide me through these tumultuous past several months. However, there is one group of verses that has supported me the most:
“Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”
For the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord…and [being] found in Him. That is why I’ve changed my life and am committed to LiF.
And…Funny thing, as I wrap up this first post, I can truthfully say that I’m eager to get to know you and look forward to our journey together!
Sincerely seeking to be found in Him,